Perfectly Positive, Please?

Always?!

– Respectfully, no thank you. 

Ah, we see a lot of them, don’t we? 

Insta-stories from people with various diseases with their perfect posts. 

So-and-so is a champion because they overcame this and that. 

They always have a smile on their face, even through the hard times. 

They recovered faster and better than anyone else because they are just awesome.

Insert inspirational photo of perfect-looking person.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Arg. 

Look. 

My outcome with this disease has been incredible. 

I have been lucky that I have not required (well, more like opted out of)  many (probably necessary) surgeries. 

I was lucky I recovered well from the ones I did have.

I was lucky as anything to have chondrosarcoma obliterated in under 3 hours, 

with no side effects.

I am incredibly lucky. 

In non-disease-related aspects of my life too:

I was raised in a safe, caring household with a wonderful family.

Somehow, I found the best of people. 

I found love, a job, a home.  

I have beautiful, caring, and passionate children.

Somehow, I wound up in a country with great health care.

But I have not always been perfectly positive. 

Nope.

Nor will I pretend that I have been.

Furthermore, I will make no effort to be that way. Ever

. 

Sound extreme? Well, in my opinion, it isn’t. 

You know why?

It is ok to feel sad sometimes, about the disease or otherwise.

It is ok to be frustrated, to struggle, to be fearful, and to question.

Appointments are scary. Scans are scary.  

Surgeries are scary. Calling med-lines is scary.

Uncertainty is scary. 

LIFE IS HARD SOMETIMES.

Cry if you want and if it helps.

Why do I get the distinct impression this is frowned upon?  

Why do people with these types of diseases end up with psychological damage?

Beyond the obvious: medical trauma and A LOT OF ANXIETY,

my hot take is that when faced with a challenge, we are supposed to be:

perfect. 

We are all supposed to be perfect, always, anyway. Right? 

Perfect. Perfect. Perfectly imperfect.

Perfect in ...

how we look 

(I’m always judged as I bet you feel you are too.

Extra tough when you have a disease that causes physical deformities. 

I failed at perfect out of the gate.  

I was never going to find love, right? Tell that to my husband of 20 years),

how we communicate 

(my grammar, tone, and formatting. are being judged at present, right? Not just by Grammarly either. This post is crazy-making! Lol!),

how we approach situations and others 

(my attitude is being judged right now :D  Got loads of it because I am a scary woman. :D

Funny that there is nothing more frightening than an open, honest book.)

The list goes on. 

Look.

Perfection gets us down. 

Because it is unattainable.

Also, it doesn’t exist anyway.

Someone’s perfect is someone else’s pain.

And,

think about how “perfect” people make you feel.

Yup.

Enough said, right there, right?! LOL!

Now.. 

Think about someone you love. Do you love their perfection?

Hopefully not.

So:

Break the cycle.

Feel how you feel. 

Do not worry about being perfectly positive.

I, as the very least, 

will release you of this burden.  

(Let's play a game called mistake or odd choice!  

Is it a typo, or the author's voice?).

My intimidating directness might be a balm for your wounds. I hope so. 

If you need someone to vent to or to ask questions of, I am here.  

Without judgement. 

In the meantime, I will be thinking and saying those uncomfortable things, 

being awkward and inappropriate and taking heat all the while.

Those who understand me will be here at my side. 

(She shouts, and her voice echoes in the empty, empty room! :D LOL!)

😬🤪😀😀

xMJ